Longing for Snuggles

Journeyofahealer3

I share this because I know there are others out there feeling the pain of losing snuggle time because of chronic pain.

Longing for Snuggles from my man… I give my little dear ones snuggles multiple times a day but I am so careful with how I hold them or let them touch me so they won’t cause me too much pain. But I lay in bed wishing I could roll over and snuggle my sweet hubby more… I know that if he touches my hand it could hurt my wrist so bad I could pull away, or worse scream. Then if I can manage getting past that, then I would lay there as the hurting in my shoulder and neck would continue to get worse until agony.  Not to mention my rib cage that feels like I’m being crushed at times and stabbed by the ends of my ribs. Plus there is my right knee that is swollen and can’t straighten or bend all the way and definitely doesn’t like to be jostled from side to side. Oh and my toes are sensitive that if his feet touch mine I’ll flinch and pull away. So, instead of risk all that pain and risk causing him emotional pain of having to pull away, I just lay there and wish I were healthy… and think of all the reasons why it will be too hard to snuggle.

I do my best to be content with a simple kiss and a gentle hug, because if he squeezes too hard my ribs feel as though they are breaking. I long for the day that I can wrap my arms around him and not think of preventing pain.

(Last night I even remember yelling out in pain or fear in my sleep. Once he just touched me to try and show me affection, once he moved and accidentally kicked the toes on my left foot, and when he came to bed and used his phone as a flashlight it hurt my eyes terribly! How terrible is that!)

Every hug I give my children is uncomfortable and even painful at times. It is emotionally painful that I can’t squat down to their level and squeeze them tight. And lifting my sweet little one hurts my spine and I try not to ever use my hands but only my forearms to lift her. But her joy and the joy I receive overpowers the physical pain so I can bear it and life through the pain.

-Jessica

“Joy is the echo of God’s Love in your life!” There may be pain in my body and tears in my eyes but there is joy in my heart!  I will not let the enemy steal my joy!  I share so you don’t feel alone in your journey to health.  I share so you know that you are loved by our Heavenly Father.  I share so your heart can be full of joy no matter what!  We are not home yet! Hang on tight to joy and share it with the world!

Live the Life You Want to Live!

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©2017 Jessica Pitzer McLaughlin

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