– Wednesday, June 3, 2015 7:33 AM
Day 3: surviving so far. Last month I added melaleuca to the regimen to help break through the concrete that surrounds the bad bugs. This month I’ve increased it to match the other oils at 3 drops 3 times a day.
Yesterday I finished a written interview on my life with Lyme Disease. Writing everything down was brutal. But I did it and I think it was emotionally cleansing for me. 🙂
My body is full of pain and stiffness this morning.
– Wednesday, June 3, 2015 3:24 PM
I think my crazy busy weekend out of town just caught up with me. I ran out of energy completely. I barely got cheese and crackers together for my kids for lunch and crashed out for hours. So thankful for PBS today. My sweet ones have been good to let mommy rest. I’m still out of energy, haven’t eaten lunch, need water and have a ton of work to do. Plus, I need to run errands. Oh how I wish my body had more to give!
– Thursday, June 4, 2015 11:13 PM
Tonight was brutal emotionally. I’ve been purging all of my house and going through everything. It has been tough to say goodbye to my life before Lyme disease so that I can move forward into what new things my life can have for me. Tonight I ended the purge by going through my sewing stuff and I had no idea how much I gave up and how sad it would make me. Not only have I given up so much that I struggle to do physically but I’ve given up things I love that would be hobbies but there is no extra of me to go around… So anything above trying to survive and work and keep us all afloat isn’t possible. I had so many plans and dreams that never happened. So I’m saying goodbye to it all so that maybe I can dream again. 🙂 I want room in my house and my mind to dream and do again!
– Sunday, June 7, 2015 8:10 AM
I completed The Great Purge of 2015. I survived 2 days of yard sale. The first was tough because I got overheated and dehydrated and was really weak and dizzy by the end of the day. It was all I could do to be upright at the baseball game. Yesterday I made sure I drank fruit infused water all day and so I didn’t get dehydrated. But I completely ran out of spoons (energy) and stole some from today too. The pain, stiffness and weakness is all over my body including my hands, arms, legs and feet. I can barely walk or move. Just moving the blanket over me feels almost impossible. I’ve been laying down since 5pm yesterday. (16 hours) and I still can barely move 🙁
Oh the joys of doing something big and expending energy with Lyme… You aren’t just tired and sore you are not functional! Oh I hope I recover soon.
Finally after 21 hours in bed I’m able to be upright and decently functional. 🙂
– Tuesday, June 9, 2015 7:27 AM
So I’m not sure if I have plateaued or if I am dealing with recovery symptoms and herxing. I am finally not having much flulike symptoms but the stiffness and aching isn’t good. That is one thing that is really frustrating when trying to fight this bacteria and inflammation. I have no idea if I need to keep doing what I’m doing, back off because I’m doing too much or increase because I’m not doing enough. Last month was really rough as I reintroduced the Iodoral and I’m not sure if I’m having leftover symptoms from that or what. Oh and another thing I have to think about is if my life is too hard on my body and if that is causing me to struggle in getting better. I know this past weekend totally took me out so maybe I’m still trying to recover from that. Oh how I hate the variables. All of these things make it feel like some how I am in control of whether I improve or not and in some ways I can control trying to not over do it but something I have figured out is that a lot of times it doesn’t matter what I do… The Lyme just fights back and makes me miserable even if I’m doing everything perfectly. Then there are times I do everything completely wrong and the next day I have a better day. Boy oh boy I really hate the roller coaster of the unknowns and variables! I’m just going to keep on keeping on with the protocol and not add anything new this month. I’m going to see if my body can stabilize before I add anything else. I was going to add in some other things during the off time this month but I think I’m just going to do the 15 days on and the rest of the month off and continue with the Vascuzyme and Iodoral.
Oh I did decide to get Cat’s Claw tea and Pau d arco tea to drink in the evenings when I remember and feel like it. I wanted to use these herbs to combat yeast and Lyme but I didn’t want them to be too strong so I decided the tea would be a gentle way of adding them in so hopefully they will just assist my body without causing a herx.
– Friday, June 12, 2015 7:08 AM
It is mornings like this I don’t want to move or talk to anyone. Oh the pain! I usually have dreams of being healthy and pain free but last night I dreamt about pain and to move last night I had to fully wake up to roll over because it was so bad and my knee could barely move and my hands hurt so bad. This morning I can barely move or walk. Just to wiggle my fingers or toes is terrible. Trying to walk or pick anything up is awful!
So I wonder… Did I do too much yesterday? Probably but is that why I’m so bad off? Or am I just having a bad day? Or am I getting worse? Or am I herxing? It sucks not to know.
I definitely didn’t get enough rest or sleep so that is definitely a factor.
Yesterday I went swimming for the first time this season and it was amazing!! Last summer it helped me sooo much to be in the water and swim. I wanted to get a membership to a pool this past winter so I could swim more but there isn’t enough money to go around. I feel almost normal in the water except for my swollen joints like in my knee. But I feel so much better. However, it is awful when I get out because then I feel how incredibly weak my muscles are because I feel so heavy to walk. In the water I feel normal and strong. I like that feeling. I wish I could feel that way all the time!
I promised my kids I would take them for a bike ride this morning. And I have to take them grocery shopping because we are out of almost everything!
But I don’t want to move. I really don’t want to sit in the sauna. I’m not sure my leg will bend enough to bike or if my muscles are strong enough. I don’t know if I can grip the handles or lift things at the grocery store. I also have to give a massage this afternoon.
I have to make today work! I have to get through this! I’m going to rest for a minute and then I’m going to sit in the hot tub and see if I can get my muscles to work better. Oh the pain… Oh my life! I can do this! I can make it happen.
– Tuesday, June 16, 2015 6:59 AM
This morning I woke up with a slightly easier morning with a tiny bit less pain and easier to walk. I’m not sure if it is a coincidence or not but I had my hubby put a few drops of the Massage Blend Essential Oil down my spine before I went to sleep. I hope it wasn’t a coincidence I could use something that will help me have better mornings which in turn means better days! 😉
Today was definitely a better day than recently. I worked today and actually got quite a bit done. I diffused lime essential oil while I worked and it really helped my brain stay focused so that was helpful. The pain today was also more manageable. I did take it easy this morning too and rested in bed as much as I could before I worked. Hoping tomorrow is even better than today!
Tonight I put Massage Blend and Myrrh on my spine. Then I was putting Frankincense under my tongue like I always do at night and I accidentally put Marjoram under my tongue! Wow! Super nasty! So then I looked up what it can be good for and I have almost every problem it can help. So, maybe that was a good mistake. It is also one of the oils in the Massage blend. So, we shall see what tomorrow brings. Maybe I should use more marjoram! Lol!
– Wednesday, June 17, 2015 11:11 PM
Today was better too. Even though I had a crappy night and barely slept because I was woken up so many times by my kiddos and every time I wanted to move I had to wake up completely to roll over from the pain. Then I also had dreams and remembered crazy things I had forgotten to do and so I had to put a note in my phone so I wouldn’t forget it again. Rough night. But the day went decent. Got out for a walk and got things done around the house and finished things I had forgotten. I didn’t get a chance to rest and I made it through the day.
Tonight I did Massage Blend and Myrh on my back.
– Thursday, June 18, 2015 2:22 PM
Sometimes I feel like the rusted tin man… But I can still wiggle enough to bust a groove if you turn on some fun tunes!! Hahaha!
– Sunday, June 21, 2015 7:19 AM
So I posted my blog post “My Secret Life with Lyme Disease” on June 18th. It is the hardest thing I’ve written and shared. My hands were literally shaking as I got ready to share it with others and put it on Social Media. It was tough! But I did it!!!!! And my spirit is so much freer because I’m not holding it such a secret! It was definitely God Breathed and something that He directed me to write. After sharing it I got so much confirmation it was incredible. So many people that have Lyme Disease said that the words were theirs too! Oh how sad and heartbreaking that others are experiencing this as well! But a great confirmation that I was supposed to share it to give others a voice of what they are going through. It is wrong that there is so much shame and secrets wrapped up in this disease. It is wrong that there are millions sick who are unable to get help or get well.
So far Over 2300 people have read my post. That is incredible! Little ol’ private me has shared a tragic story that has touched so many lives. God is definitely all over this!
The pain and devastation of this disease is heart breaking! The reality that “normal” people have NO idea what people are living through is a tragedy! Today I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders 🙁 Today I feel the pain of millions 🙁 Today I feel how different we are from others. I feel how uncomfortable it is to know how different we are and how uncomfortable it is to have people know the secret of my life. Sharing my secret to others who have Lyme feels like there is a loud voice shouting for us that we are all in the same war! That feels victorious! Like a battle has been won and we have a united battle cry! However, knowing that people I know who don’t have Lyme have read makes me feel so broken, alone and different (not in a good way). They aren’t in this and can’t understand… it feels so uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. They need to know and they need to spread the word about this disease… so I continue to share even though it is really really uncomfortable.
– Tuesday, June 23, 2015 6:19 AM
I walked a few times last week with my kids around the neighborhood. Each time we walked a little farther. Yesterday we walked about 30 minutes. That is a huge deal!! I’m thrilled I can actually walk that far and have the stamina to do it. My legs and knee still hurt some but they can do it! My goal is to get out and walk my dog and my kids each day. We all need the exercise! When I’m all stuck in the house EVERYONE gets out of shape! The kids can’t even handle a short walk it is pitiful! I want to make sure that doesn’t happen anymore to my children! Or my dog or myself! We should all be able to handle walking! I’m excited with my progress! We are all improving in our stamina and I hope to stick to this atleast 3-4 days a week! I should be able to walk everyday! I’m even handling the hot weather! This is exciting! I may still have pain but my stamina is better! I don’t feel faint or dizzy or out of breath! I will take that! My kids keep begging me to run so I jog a few painful steps every so often to keep up with them. I’m hopeful that becomes easier and less painful soon but I’m thankful that I can at least take them for walks again! I’m not sure how long it has been since I was able to do that!!
– Thursday, June 25, 2015 6:34 AM
It is so hard to keep up with doing and ingesting everything that is good for me and helps me get better!! So frustrating that I can stick with things for a couple of weeks and then something interrupts my day I forget about it and then I get out of the habit of it. Plus the differences are so subtle that It takes a while to feel the improvement and then takes a while for me to realize that I’m not improving because I stopped something or even declining. It is so frustrating that I do this. But I just can’t hold it all in my brain with the determination I need. I also don’t want to write it all out because that looks so overwhelming and makes me want to quit altogether. Two things that I keep not doing is drinking brags apple cider vinegar everyday and oil pulling with coconut oil (plus eat 1-5Tbsp) everyday.
Okay, I’m determined to get these things back into my life. Even if it is just oil pulling for 5 minutes (instead of 20) and ACV one a day (instead of 3). I can do this!!
These two things are simple and food. Maybe if I start both at the same time I will be able to tell a big difference in my energy, the pain and my digestion! Maybe if I can feel a big difference I won’t ever want to quit! The tough thing about Lyme and all the body issues is there are so many things affected and improvement is always at a snail’s pace. It makes it hard to stick with things when you are getting better so slowly!
I can do this!
Ugh! I broke out in a rash/hives last night on my chest and back and it is still there this morning. Oh I’m itching! I’m not sure if this is a heat rash from being outside or maybe from the the new shirt I wore yesterday that I sweat in or from the food I ate last night! Oh I hope it stops soon!
– Friday, June 26, 2015 10:55 PM
So I’ve done oil pulling the last two days and ACV. The other thing I decided to do because it just felt right was to fast from all foods except fruits (and vegetables if I feel like eating them). I just completed day 2 and it was pretty easy. I’ve been trying to help my belly feel better since it went so haywire during my period. I’ve still had some bloating and yuck feeling so I’ve also added in the TBSP of charcoal the last two days as well to help with toxins and bloat. Today I actually didn’t have time for a nap and made it through the day. I even cooked dinner after a totally full day. It was simple spaghetti but I actually did it. Lately I just haven’t been up to cooking and I’ve had to nap every day at least for 15 minutes.
I also ran out of Adren-all again and decided to order the Adrena-vive instead. I wish I could afford to take both because they really support my adrenal glands but I’m thinking I’ll try the adrena-vive this time and see if maybe it affects me more… Or I will just alternate them.
So I’m not sure what I’m doing on the fruit fast but I’m just going to with it until I’m ready to stop. I was actually able to pass up ice cream twice today. So it must be meant to be. 🙂
Oh, I ordered some Bentonite clay to take internally so that I can start doing that everyday. I’m hoping it will be better than the charcoal. I just can’t make myself do the charcoal everyday. It is messy and it makes my poo black and a bit weird. So, I just don’t do it all the time. I only use it when I really need it. But I should be doing something everyday. So I’ve read some great stories about how great the bentonite clay is for detoxing but it is also very healing to the body. I’m thinking if I can also add that in daily my progress may increase and maybe I can get off this plateau. I’ve come so far! I just really want to get up the mountain!
– Sunday, June 28, 2015 6:19 AM
Oh GEEZ! Oh wow! Oh CUSS!! I feel like I’m dying this morning! Horrid flulike symptoms! Everything hurts my skin hurts! Oh shoot me now! :/ This sucks!
I’m not sure why I feel so bad but I think it must be from the bentonite clay I drank yesterday. I did end my fruit only 3 day cleanse last night with regular food. I suppose that could make me feel bad but I don’t think that is it. I was hopeful that the bentonite clay would just pull stuff out like the charcoal so I feel better instead of stirring junk up so I feel worse. Obviously I’m extremely toxic so I need it in my life but I’m going to have start with just a pinch and work my way up to more. And I’m going to have to wait until next week to test this out. I’m going out of town tomorrow for a week and won’t have access to my infrared sauna. So, doing anything that could stir things up would be a bad idea! Oh I’m soooo miserable! I’m sweating it out and hopefully will feel better soon. I have a ton to do today before I leave town tomorrow. I definitely don’t need to feel bad or start the week off exhausted! It is going to be a busy week seeing family plus teaching lots of classes about Essential Oils. I need to feel the best I can! Oh this morning sucks! Oh my head and neck! Oh my body! UUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
I’m moaning…. I never moan…. Oh I’m moaning! Oh I feel horrible… Lord help me get over this quickly! I can’t think… Just sweat. Just sweat. Just sweat it out. I can do this. I can do this. Don’t cry. Oh forget it, just cry. This is awful!
An hour and 45 minutes later I’m getting out of the sauna and the flu like symptoms have stopped. But the pain, stiffness and swelling is still there. So I’m getting in a hot bath with Epsom salts, lavender essential oil and baking soda. Hopefully that will get me back into the land of functioning again!
3.5 hours after waking up in hell I’m now dressed and upright and functional and am heading to church. 😉
So, June seemed to be a tough month overall but with some progress physically where I can walk and do more. But I’m definitely stuck on a plateau… hoping July will be better.
“Joy is the echo of God’s Love in your life!” There may be pain in my body and tears in my eyes but there is joy in my heart! I will not let the enemy steal my joy! I share so you don’t feel alone in your journey to health. I share so you know that you are loved by our Heavenly Father. I share so your heart can be full of joy no matter what! We are not home yet! Hang on tight to joy and share it with the world!
Live the Life You Want to Live!